Yes, this is a reiteration of an old post that is now hidden within the depths of one of my stealthy, hidden old blogs because I have the decency to take down my deserted blogs instead of just leaving them to die alone out there in the freezing cold that is the internet and its over-saturated social media. Not to throw shade or anything, it’s just severely e-depressing to come happily skipping onto a blog and realize it’s been abandoned since 2014 without as much as a ”Goodbye”.
But, I’m not gonna whine too much about that now, seeing as HERE AND HERE I’m already sporting the aura of an old lady, clutching the good old days of blogging near my left south-wandering boob while screaming at modern clickbait sites to get the F off my lawn, and by lawn I mean my internets.
1. Don’t post blurry images
I’m not gonna lie. I’ve entered so many wonderfully designed blogs, with all the right recipes for catching readers, bold headlines, clickbaity titles, read more-links and easily melted content… and then encountered the visual blurry 2004-pigfest-style photos trying to match up with the glossy finish of the site, making me skedaddle right out of there. Out of focus makeup flat-lays, images where everything is a little blurry causing me to doubt my hawkish eyes for a second or images taken too far from the object they’re trying to portrait. Wrong colour temperature also makes it really hard to see if that lipstick is cool or warm, ya know?
I mean, I wrote the original post five years ago, and while the glossy finished blogs has increased dramatically since then, the discrepancy between imagery and magazine layouts has only become more jarring.
All in all: Manual focus and white balance settings, use them!
* And yes, I’m sporting a blurry pic of myself on the blog. But that’s alright, right? Hurr hurr. It’s worth it because it’s at least taken by someone else than myself and those are far and few between!
2. It’s normal to doubt yourself like every 90 days
It’s a common occurrence. Fresh faced and inspired, you start a blog. It’s fun, you’ve thought about it for a while and you’re crunching out content for a couple of months because… well it’s fun! Then that crampy Tuesday comes, maybe it’s February and the sun hasn’t showed itself in three months, maybe you’re feeling uninspired, sick of influencers, sick of Instagram highlighters and the lonely feeling when no one comments on your carefully thought out posts.
Just... take it easy. Breathe a little. Cut the crap out of your feeds and enjoy only quality stuff on the blessing and curse we call the internet. Go out into the world and enjoy your real life friends, so you can return to your blog a little later and continue posting content to which no one comments. It’s a harsh environment for many of us, but if you like it, you like it. Do it. Keep at it. Because it’s mainly for you, right? That nail polish you want to post already has five hundred swatches on other blogs, so what? Add your flair and post it anyways!
And a little side note: Even I, with my teensy meensy little space on the huge internet, have made real life friends from my little side gig. Worth every second of it.
3. Be careful choosing Wordpress.com if you’re a total e-novice
Only choose Wordpress as your blog host if you’re ready to swear, scream and break your entire blog when you’re having a go at CSS (backup that code before editing, fellow blogger. Every single time. It’s not worth taking that risk.) and is ready to accept that your plugins will stop working without explanation or updates, oh, and the solutions found on google won’t help you out at all. Shit’s not as easy as people make it out to be. Blogger is far easier, and while I now reside on Squarespace, I can say that Squarespace isn’t for everyone. I’m happy with them though!
In case you didn’t believe me when I said that mysterious thing about real life friends.
4. Proof-read your own content
In an effort to catch all those stupid mistakes your flanges make on the keyboard, and remove the visible brain farts and post-editing double wordings or even missing words (I will have some in this post just because I’m bringing it up, I just know it), draft your post and then return to it the day after before posting it for the world to see. Proof read that shit. Bloglovin’ snatches your content and does not update it later, and knowing that everyone who reads your posts through Bloglovin’ in the future will stare at that time you wrote ”fucket” instead of ”bucket”, well, it’s worth double checking.
5. If you’re pretty you get more readers
6. It’s a bit like high school sometimes
You will e-hang around groups of cool bloggers that start clubs with each other, and you won’t get to join. Instead, you get to stand on the other side of the hedge, just seeing and hearing how much fun they’re having while you clear your side from weeds and old tags that you should have formulated better when you started your blog journey, swearing you’re left out in the cold because your Bloglovin’ feed still shows that post title as ”Whats you’re best Christmas memory?”
7. You will be less fun than you wished you were
You will constantly judge your own morals and sense of humour, grading everything you want to throw out there on a scale from ”no one could possibly be offended by this but it’s also boring” to ”Shit… ahh well fuck it, it’s worth it!”. From my experience, one most often ends up on the boring side just to play it really safe, and then your blog get… bland and suffers a lack of personality. Like wheat crackers without salt or cheese, and you’re not even getting any desert wine with your tragic platter!
8. What goes on the internet, stays on the internet
Ahh, that old caveat. All those stories that you want to tell your audience and especially those two faithful readers that always seem to come back and read everything you post, blurry images and all, but you can’t; because what goes on the internet, stays on the internet. And who knows what’s in store for the future? I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a politician, but am I ready for people at, say, that new job that I’m starting, to already know about that one time I had a medieval style mishap with a menstrual cup in a public restroom ten years ago and that I were blindingly drunk that random Friday night? Am I? I don’t know.
9. If your blog is boring, SEO or links can’t help you
You need to get that ship sailing into interesting, frightful territory so your potential readers don’t clickity-click on that X as soon as they lay their eyes on your detailed description of what your breakfast consisted of and that you took a walk in an unnamed location and it was kind of nice but ya know, not really THAT nice. If your space is boring, you can roam around on the internet and link, comment, share and engage all you want, but it won’t make people stay on your site. You’re gonna die alone on the internet, clutching your worn-out laptop with its broken modem (yeah, I said it!) anyways.
10. You’re gonna learn that some people are all talk and no action
Like me. I’ve had blogs since 2005, and I have never had more than 100-ish daily visitors. I know, I know, ”but your blog is a little glossy and have sharp pictures and you spell correctly (most of the time) just like you’ve recommended in this post and you’re funny as shit too! Haven’t you always done that?”
Yes, yes I have. But the type of content I put out isn’t for everyone (it’s too smart I guess*). It’s just how it is, and I have no plans of changing that really. Because, like item nr 2 says, I’m keeping at it because I like it. It’s mostly for me nowadays and for my faithful 10-ish or so long time readers; it would be hard to claim anything else when I’ve had nine comments on my blog the last 12 months.
So I have learnt more stuff, comment down below if you’re interes… JK I know that doesn’t work. Still love this whole blogging thing though, fourteen years later!
* I’m kidding of course. I couldn’t be an influencer even if I tried.