The "gardener" status update of August

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Our past Sunday dinner: Chard, tomatoes with buffalo mozzarella, garlic-tossed beans, cheese-stuffed Jamaican bell chilies and red peppers. The pumpkin is sitting on our kitchen counter because I don’t know if it’s ready to become pumpkin puree or not. The glee in eating stuff that you’ve just dragged from their homes in your own garden, it’s very pleasant!

You guys know my struggles this spring when the weather sexily gyrated between negging (snow) and sultry tease (actually spring), and this summer wasn't much more reliable. The summer-tombola offered everything between 12 degrees and cloudy for weeks to 30 degrees and sunny days on end.

In the middle of all that the plants on the patio started getting bigger and... well when the cucumbers grew eerily big and the cherry tomatoes reddened, the even more gigantic beef tomato plants together offered us... one tomato. One. All the flowers just rotted away and fell off, yellow flecks covering the floor as sad reminders of plants not being in their prime conditions, making sure we'd know about it.

So we threw two of them out and kept the other two on the patio. My partner, fortunately not following my tip of not being sentimental, what-the-hell-planted them outside instead. Same with a few Jamaican Bell-plants that looked mostly like Jessica Day's feeling stick, the travel version. In spite of being a little curious of what the plants were feeling, I thought it'd be somewhat demeaning to wave one of them around while asking the others if they had anything to add, so I didn't.

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Like reproducing phoenixes they rose from the sad ashes of their pot-living and shot out a thousand flowers and tomatoes and chilies. Inside, their species-kin still dwells in pots, clearly demonstrating their displeasure by giving off small, few and overall lackluster fruits to match my labour. Tomatoes and Jamaican Bell chilies, next year you're going right out into the garden.

No fussing around with you bishes, I get it.

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So yeah they love it outdoors, point taken.

In May, I took a piece of broken off cherry tomato plant, let it grow roots in a glass of water for a week and then shoved it into one of the beds as well, along with weaning pumpkin shoots and beans. All of them looked like death for weeks, but I thought I'd just leave'em because we didn't plan on trying to incubate anything else there anyway. We watered them a little and just, well, whatever happens, happens.

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So yeah, this happened.

I should add; we didn't plant any yellow pumpkins. Flat beige ones and tall orange ones and some other version, yes. Round yellow ones? No. So... I guess we have to find a new strategy for next year, huh. *takes notes* Don't let the pumpkins cross-pollinate. *check* Oh, and don't let pumpkins grow ON our garage while slowly destroying the trellis. *pushes glasses up the nose and takes even more notes* I mean, we all know about the square cucumber and how that ended, AMIRIGZFHT wheeze laughter!*

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One of my favourite things about growing veggies: Suddenly, you just find gigantic produce that you haven’t seen before, just like that, without any effort! Like this under-arm-sized zucchini that we hadn’t seen until this picture was taken!

And we have apples, red currants, raspberries, chard, beetroots, zucchini, yellow onions, Aronia berries, leeks and carrots coming up. Well, if they haven't cross-pollinated as well, we'll see. Now, let’s go make some sauced up apple sauce and get sloshed!

* I will tell you about the square cucumber someday.

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